I'd never used to admit it, but I am a "Worry-wart".
Less "control freak" and more "what if this happened?" variety - which I've always felt left me pretty "well equipped" in my dayjob before (designing for film and tv), having that feeling constantly providing me the fuel to prepare for any eventuality on film sets and projects ... but was no doubt a burden to my team and crew, with my ever constant worrying and expectations ... but the results are most times "worth" the weight of the constant struggle ... or so I tell myself.
Years later, even after I've left the media industry, the neurosis remains - and even as my nerves and self-confidence have left me, I have since become a "kamcheong"-spider instead... Sometimes manic, and sometimes silently waiting for the apocalypse to happen. I do not know how to live my life otherwise haha